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  • Kevin A. Thompson

Do You Feel Connected to Your Spouse Even When Physically Separated?

Connection does not require physical presence. You can feel emotionally close even if you are physically apart.


Yes/No: Even when we are apart, we feel close and connected with one another.


Why Does This Issue Matter?

How a couple feels about each other when they are apart is a good revelation of the state of their relationship. While distance overtime is bad for a relationship, in the short term, it can be a positive. The old saying "distance makes a heart grow fonder" should be true. Is it true for you? While everyone deserves and needs a break on occasion, does a weekend trip with friends or a week-long business trip cause you to love your spouse more or less? How someone feels when apart shows what they have when they are together.


What If You Said Yes (4 or 5 on the assessment)?

If being apart causes you to have a deeper appreciation for one another, don't take that for granted. It shows the depth to which you value one another and the foundation you have built for your relationship. Keep building. For healthy couples, the greatest danger is allowing their success to cause apathy. Let the feelings you have when you are apart influence the choices you make when you are together.


What If You Said No (0 through 3 on the assessment)?

If distance doesn't make your heart grow fonder, there are two possible problems. First, you might just have too much distance. While a little distance can be good for the relationship, too much distance is dangerous. We are meant to be with one another. Find a way to limit the amount you are apart, even if it means a major career change. Your marriage is more important than your career. In most cases, when distance doesn't make the heart grow fonder, the problem is that the relationship isn't well connected. You can't miss what you never had. If the relationship isn't solid, distance will give you a greater sense of freedom rather than a longing for being connected with your spouse. If this is the case, use the absence of fondness to drive you toward creating what you desire. Strengthen your connection and then you will miss one another when you are apart.


Related Resources:

Article: The Definitive Indicator of a Healthy Relationship

Article: 7 Habits That Lead to Divorce

Book: Happily by Kevin A. Thompson

Book: Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson

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