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5 Books Every Couple Should Read

Once a year, I read a book on finances (generally around tax time) to ensure I stay sharp in that area. Likewise, I'll read about communication, parenting, and other issues relevant to my life, even if I don't feel a struggle in that area at the time.


Because some things are too important to leave to chance, either I can stay sharp in that area and navigate them well, or I can leave outcomes to chance.

Unfortunately, that's what many people do with marriage. Rather than intentionally staying sharp, they coast, hoping no significant problems will come their way.

One of the easiest ways to stay on top of important issues is to read a book. Here are five books that every couple should read.

5 Books Every Couple Should Read

  1. Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson

Johnson is the founder of Emotionally Focused Therapy, which has guided marriage theory for the last 30 years. While I don't like the title and the book can be difficult at times, the principles are foundational. Every couple needs to understand the focus on the emotions underlying our actions (and our spouse's actions).

Gottman's work has stood the test of time. This book will direct you away from the presenting issues (communication, money, sex, family, etc) and toward the issues that really matter (respect, understanding, empathy etc.) If you've never read a marriage book, start here.

3. Secure Love by Julie Menanno

Menanno's book is the newest on the list. It is excellent. This is a great place to start if you have never read about attachment theory or its implications for marriage. She reveals patterns we all experience and gives us a pathway toward stronger connections.

4. Friends, Partners & Lovers by Kevin A. Thompson

The strength of this book is that it simplifies something we find extremely complicated. Marriage isn't a mystery. We are not that unique. These are three basic roles that every spouse needs to experience and give. Nothing is groundbreaking in this book, but it will clarify the key roles of marriage and give you practical advice to improve your connection.

5. Crucial Conversations by Joseph Grenny and Kerry Patterson

This isn't a marriage book, but it may be the best marriage book. Ask the average couple what their number one problem is, and they will most likely say "communication." This book is the best book on communication I've ever read. It's the book I wish I had written. Go slow, apply what you are reading, and it will positively impact every relationship.

What is one book you have read about marriage that has been meaningful to you?

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