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  • Kevin A. Thompson

Are You Better Together Than You Would Be Apart?

Believing we are better together provides the motivation to do the work necessary.


Yes/No: We are better together than we would be apart.


Why Does This Issue Matter?

Believing you are better together is a strong motivation to endure, work, and grow. As long as you believe you are better together than apart, you are primed to do what is necessary to make your relationship thrive. However, as soon as doubts begin to creep in regarding whether or not you are better together, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. You doubt, therefore you stop working, and then your doubts become reality. It's okay to question whether you are better together or apart, but it's not acceptable to have those questions and do nothing about them. Few things are as major of a warning sign that you need significant help as much as questioning whether or not you should stay together.


What If You Said Yes (4-5 on the assessment)?

Even a 4 out of 5 on this question raises questions. If you quickly answered a 5, that's good news. Things may not be perfect but you are willing to do what it takes to move forward. Yet a pause and a 4 may show the first signs of struggle. Pay attention to that answer. Don't think you are doomed, but do get to work to make sure your doubts don't grow. An answer of 4 doesn't mean you immediately have to call a counselor. It simply means you need to get to work. Read a book, attend a conference, invest some intentional time, or call us for a coaching call. Just do something.


What If You Said No (0-3 on the assessment)?

Anything less than 4 or 5, is a red flag. You know it. Your answer was a confession that something isn't right. What are you going to do about it? Something must change. Tell your spouse you want more. Remind them of why you fell in love with them. Confess your desire to experience more of those feelings. Then call a counselor and set up an appointment. If your spouse refuses to go, then go without them. Either way, action is demanded.


Related Resources:

Article: 13 Questions to Gauge If You Need Marriage Counseling

Article: 5 Keys to Save Your Marriage

Article: 10 Signs Your Marriage Is Healthy

Book: Happily--8 Commitments of Couples Who Laugh, Love, and Last

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