How Often Do You Cuddle With Your Spouse?
Cuddling is an often overlooked aspect of healthy intimacy.
Yes/No: We cuddle with each other often.
Why Does This Issue Matter?
The most overlooked indicator of a satisfying sex life is cuddling. When couples regularly cuddle one another, they have a much more satisfying level of intimacy in their marriage. Early in a relationship, you rarely have to tell a couple to touch. They do so frequently. Yet as time passes, couples can easily drift into a pattern where they rarely touch outside of sex. This lack of connection impacts their intimacy. Cuddling is a simple litmus test for many things. It's hard to physically relax next to someone you don't trust or respect. We naturally distance ourselves when holding a grudge or feeling frustration toward someone. If we struggle to cuddle, that's a warning sign.
What If You Said Yes (4 or 5 on the assessment)?
If you said yes, do not let this habit drift. Intentionally ensure that this is a regular part of your life. We all go through seasons due to illness or busyness in which we don't have the ability to be near our spouse, make sure those are only seasons. When a husband and wife establish a deep sense of trust and respect, they can be vulnerable to one another. In a world where we constantly have to be on guard, we can let our guards down with our spouse and simply relax. Who doesn't need more relaxation in the world in which we live? Use this gift for the well-being of one another and the nourishment of the relationship.
What If You Said No (0 through 3 on the assessment)?
Like most of the assessment, if you said no to this question, we first have to determine why you said no. If, you have simply fallen out of the habit or generally aren't a naturally touchy person, be intentional. Take a month and test it. Intentionally cuddle each night before you go to bed. Before leaving the bed in the morning, spend time embracing. Purposefully sit next to each other while watching TV or a movie. Do it for a month and see what a difference it makes. If you can't cuddle, don't. Yet, notice the inability as a warning. Why can't you? In many instances, the struggle is an absence of trust or respect. The inability to cuddle is simply a warning sign of some other problem in your marriage. If that is the case, get to work on the real issue. Why don't you feel physically comfortable near your spouse? Why can't you relax in their presence? These are serious issues that need to be addressed.
Article: 7 Red Flags for Dying Intimacy
Book: Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson
Book: Friends, Partners & Lovers by Kevin A. Thompson